empowered.

Posted by kathym on May 6, 2010

Empowerment is a word I hear a lot these days. It’s often used in the context of no longer allowing or accepting a perceived injustice to continue in your life and define who you are. You will “rise above” it and thus become empowered. This means you will call the shots from now on.  How does this line up with Christian thinking? It doesn’t.

I am not promoting staying in a life-threatening abusive situation. Yet, I am talking about the very difficult and very hurtful situations that we may have experienced.

For instance, I’ve thought about a few celebrities over the years who decided to write tell-all books about a parent(s). Maybe it was their way to cope with some pain they experienced or it was revenge. Either way, the parent was exposed with the intention of making the adult child a stronger person; empowered.

We live in a day when a person believes that his or her entitlement is empowerment. Whatever the situation at hand is, the “victim” stands up to the “abuser” and therefore, is stronger for it. Thing is, I’ve noticed in some of these situations that the victim seems to like staying a victim and in order to do so, is continually looking for every chance possible to continue in his/her empowerment. It requires a battle with every contrary situation that the victim has perceived.

That’s alot of work.

You don’t think you are a victim? Well, if whatever the wrong that was done to you is still alive and well in your mind and every chance you get you deal with the person who offended you with subtle (or not so subtle) retaliation, then you are a tried and true victim. Is that the kind of empowerment you have?

Let me recommend a better way. Initially, it will take every ounce of your will. And in my experience, it only takes one time and it’s done. It’s called forgiveness.

What does forgiveness entail?

First of all, throw out the word victim. If you see yourself always as a victim you will live the rest of your life licking your wounds.  It won’t go away unless you tell it to. Why would you tell it to? Because you sin, too. And given the right circumstances, you may have done the awful thing that was done to you. If you don’t believe it, then you are a Pharisee.

Actually, there isn’t much beyond that. Because it automatically places you in a position of humility. And it’s pride that doesn’t let us forgive because we are very indignant with someone who would dare to inflict us with personal pain. Yes, even the one who is dreadfully hurt by someone and is a true victim. Initially, that may be the case. Yet in time, this person will take on indignant since in order to keep it alive for the rest of their life, they must feel justified in order to remain a victim.

Quite naturally, the rest will follow. You will find that it requires more energy to live with that attitude of Poor Me and battle every injustice that comes along. It’s much easier to let it go and move on. Choosing the latter is the key that unlocks the door of stifled anger, sorrow, or whatever result you feel. Some of us are always stewing just under the surface and it doesn’t take much to cause an explosion.

If this is you, go back to paragraph 5.

Life today is very muddled with lots of gray areas because our culture has lost our bearings. We have traded truth for a lie because it was more palatable and it shows from the government right down to our personal lives. There are tried and true principles to live by that do not leave one dangling out there without remedy. Thing is, man always tries to find another way and what a mess we end up with.

I don’t care what has happened to you. Decide now that you will not live in the victim mentality any longer and you will not fill your head with Oprah and Tyra who…. “empower us”.

Real empowerment comes from living a life of forgiveness. And please, what does it accomplish exposing your parent(s)? Or anyone for that matter?

I leave you with the words from Phillipians 4:8:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
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It’s chaotic for the mind to “keep things alive”. Want peace? Think about the good in your life and focus on that. After you forgive.